“Only from the heart can you touch the sky.”
In today’s society we expect instant results. I am surely among that number. One major influence that has fostered this attitude is the experience of purchasing items on line and receiving them at my front door within two days. I do not have to do anything but enter in my credit card number and place my order! Now when I go to a department store I get very impatient when I have to wait in line to pay for my purchases. I’m not alone in my distress. Each person in line is fidgety and grumbling. The same attitude prevails if an appliance breaks. We want it fixed instantly or we just get a new one to replace it.
Unfortunately this mindset is subconsciously brought into many marriages. If the relationship isn’t working or proving to be very satisfying many young people don’t seem to have the patience to seek help before it deteriorates to the point that it cannot be fixed. Too quickly or too easily they just decide to “throw out” the relationship and seek a “replacement.”
What is not often in the news is the success that so many couples are having living out a long term relationship. Most of our friends have recently celebrated 50 years of marriage.
In my previous posting I mentioned that love is a decision and not a feeling. This is such a key concept in any valued relationship. When things are not going great it is necessary to pull out the trump card and remember “love is a decision.”
When we taught a marriage course many years ago at a local Catholic high school the girls were very encouraged to hear that the other key thing is all relationships constantly go in and out of three phases. This was something they were already experiencing in the relationships with their siblings and friends.
The following are those three phases that are always changing in any relationship: